Sunday, June 28, 2015

Coprolalia

Coprolalia, What is it? Why do Tourette kids get it? How can you stop them from getting it. How do you deal with it?
Lets start with what is it, I love the definition of Coprolalia.
Coprolalia is involuntary swearing or the involuntary utterance of obscene words or socially inappropriate and derogatory remarks. Coprolalia comes from the Greek κόπρος (kopros) meaning "feces" and λαλιά (lalia) from lalein, "to talk".[1] The term is often used as aclinomorphism, with "compulsive profanity" inaccurately referred to as being Tourette syndrome.
Feces talk! How much better can you name a medical condition! It literally is crap talking! But then again, what is it really? It really is just a sucky thing that kids have to deal with. Its sitting in your family room with your cute kids while they say things that they don't mean to say, or would never say. Its guilt beyond belief, feelings of unworthiness, and being scared to leave your house. And why? Because of words? I always hear from people, Oh, Your kids have Tourette, do they swear? Well, the statistic that I say is that only 10% of the Tourette community has Coprolalia. But as life with Tourette goes on I doubt that number. Now with kid number 2 starting the Coprolalia journey, let me share with you my beliefs on the subject.
Why Do Tourette kids get it? My number one thought on this subject is that they worry about it. It gets stuck in their brains, and it happens. Let me tell you a Tourette story from a couple of summers ago to illustrate this point. We were at a water park with Baby Mermaid, just as we were getting on a slide that you lay down on your belly, and hold on to a sled, and race 6 other people down to the bottom. But the trick is you have to wait till they tell you to start and then push off with your feet. She said, “mom it would be really bad if I got a tick that I had to kick my feet, because then I might start racing before its time.” I just laughed it off, we raced a couple of times, and then went about our day. But before to long She had a kicking/Jumping tic that also included flailing her arms. We went back to the water park and she really did kick off to early (because of a tic). She was so embarrassed and upset. It was then that we made up the don’t think up worse tics rule. I really think that sometimes we get so focused on how “bad” something would be or how “hard” some tic would be that it just gets stuck in those cute little minds. Medically speaking there is no reason why people get tics. The only thing that they know for sure is that stress, anxiety, excitement, fatigue, sickness, etc make tics worse.
So the next thing I always hear from people is where would your kids hear those words? Are you kidding me? Have you walked down a hallway at a school, gone to a public place, or even watched a movie lately? I try really hard to keep things “clean” that come into contact with our kids. But even then you can't protect them from hearing “bad” words. I remember very clearly sitting in my work place with Mercedes, my oldest daughter who has Tourette, and the office manager said Cunt. I was a little taken back, because we cuss a bit at our house, it’s just how it is. But that is one word, that I would personally never use. I have a short list of words that I just don't like, and that one is on it. A couple of days later I was walking through Walmart with Mercedes and she just yelled Cunt. Almost as loud as you could say it. I looked over at my cute girl, and she had horror written on her face. I was heartbroken for her. We looked at each other, laughed, and completed our shopping. We got a couple of dirty looks from time to time. But its just a word, its not her choice, and it doesn't change who she is on the inside. Does it suck sometimes, unequivocally. But it is what it is.
I hear from people all the time, I can't believe you have 3 kids with Tourette. How do you do it? Do what? Love my kids? That's easy Moms love kids, Moms love helping, serving, doing things. It is part of our family makeup, it just is what it is. It brings us joy, laughter, heartache, and sometimes shame. Shame is the one feeling that Tourette brings that I refuse to feel! I refuse to let my kids feel it. That’s why I am writing this cute little story to the world. Words are just words. My kids have the distinct opportunity to not be able to choose the words they say. Does it make them bad? Absolutely not! Does it make them strong, beautiful, amazing people, that get to teach people about Tourette, and how lucky people are that they are able to choose the words they use. Yes!
So in conclusion, It’s just this wild ride that we are on. Its just Tourette. Its just another facet of our wonderful life.